23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
Isn’t quitting fun? There, I said it! Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about. You had a crazy week, and there’s no time or energy to spare, and you give up. You cancel plans, or quit that project, or better yet someone else cancels on you. That’s the best. You are not at fault, and you are off the hook.
The longer I follow Jesus though, the less He lets me get away with quitting. I’m not talking about knowing when to say no or legitimately needing more time for a project, but plain old quitting because I don’t want to do something.
I took some college classes a few years ago to put my GI Bill to good use and bring in some income for my family as my husband was retiring from the Marine Corps. I have done this a couple of times over the years and every semester I would start out bright-eyed and interested but as the weeks wane things get harder and harder and I start to struggle to complete even the simplest of tasks. My grades don’t change but my attitude and efforts do. If you know me then this is no surprise to you, but if you don’t know me, then you are getting an education on Whitney.
I was taking an Apologetics course. It was out of my comfort zone, but I found the subject material interesting because the subject was God. My passions, especially when it comes to the Gospel, lay outside of well-constructed arguments and proofs and much more in the “Jesus loves you, Jesus has something to say to you,” camp. I took the class because I wanted to think through the things I believed and to make sure that if I tried to reason with someone, I was using only Biblical reason.
Either way, the papers were a chore. I had to get from point A to point B in 3 steps in a persuasive and logical order. I don’t remember what the other papers were on, but I remember what the final paper was on. The death and resurrection of Jesus. Sounds like fun, right? It’s my whole reason for living, but I was sick of school. This was not my only class and sitting at my computer each day to learn from videos and textbooks was not my idea of fun since I’m an extrovert. Like any sane student, I checked my grades and saw that I would still get a B if I didn’t write the paper.
That’s when the laziness really kicked in. I became obsessed with the idea of quitting. I emailed the professor and claimed that my job as a housewife, homeschool mom, and student had just gotten out of hand, and I wouldn’t be completing the paper. See how I didn’t lie? I was sure to say that I wouldn’t, not couldn’t but we both knew I definitely wasn’t trying. He graciously said it was okay and to have a great life.
For the next week, I battled with the Holy Spirit. He was not happy with my behavior and was not going to let me off the hook as fast as my professor. I called this friend and that friend to tell them I wasn’t going to do the paper. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this conviction even though I didn’t lie, and my grades would still be fine. I mean where in God’s good book does it say that Whitney needs an A or that we must complete all our assignments? Christians do things halfway all the time. Quitting is fine. The week kept ticking by.
Then on the day the paper was due, I made the mistake of calling one of my brothers. His answer came straight out of the Bible. “Well maybe you are supposed to do everything like you are doing it for God,” he said with a playful tone to his voice. Dang it. I knew he was right. The reason God was disappointed in my class performance was because this class was for Him, and I don’t mean because it was about the Bible and the resurrection but because everything I do is for Him.
How I speak to my children, how I care for my health, my marriage, my writing, my cleaning, my cooking, the curriculum I choose for the kids, the car I pick, my projects, volunteering, my friendships, the plans I make, everything! It is all for Him and about Him and influenced by how I feel about Him. Everything that I do, I do for God. I’m His hands and feet, His bondservant, His friend, His daughter, His disciple, His employee. He’s good, and I am just flesh and bones without Him.
I wrote the paper. I wrote it in 1 hour. The pressure lifted. I got an A. The professor wrote me a note that said that in all his years teaching the class, he had never seen such a persuasive and well-written apologetic paper on the cross. It made me absolutely crazy.
It made me look at the Holy Spirit in a new light. I understand the way He speaks better; I have felt the difference between His pleasure and His displeasure. I found out that even when my attitude is off, He is gracious to help me, and that He rewards my obedience.
I don’t enjoy quitting things as much as I used to. Who knew that was something that would change in relationship with my Creator? I ask first. “God, is this something you are asking me to do?” It’s probably easier to rely on me than it used to be. Sure, I get busy and overwhelmed, I accidentally double-book, get sick, and have car issues. There are reasons I cancel things or quit something I have been doing for a while, but I ask permission from God more and more often, and I ask for forgiveness from the people I let down.
I haven’t dug any deeper into apologetics in my free time and I haven’t reread my papers, but I try to do whatever I’m doing like I’m working for the Lord, not the rest of you humans.
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