1Oh, what joy for those
Psalm 32
whose disobedience is forgiven,
whose sin is put out of sight!
2 Yes, what joy for those
whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,
whose lives are lived in complete honesty!
3 When I refused to confess my sin,
my body wasted away,
and I groaned all day long.
4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.
My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude
5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you
and stopped trying to hide my guilt.
I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”
And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude
6 Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time,
that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.
7 For you are my hiding place;
you protect me from trouble.
You surround me with songs of victory. Interlude
8 The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you.
9 Do not be like a senseless horse or mule
that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”
10 Many sorrows come to the wicked,
but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord.
11 So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him!
Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!
It’s good to be forgiven! There is so much joy and peace in forgiveness. When we have confessed all the sin that God has convicted us of and turned from it we are met with something very special. A life lived in complete honesty with our God where we can boldly approach Him and live for Him. There is no shame and nothing to hold us back.
Before I walked with God I had the whole weight of my sin on me and it was miserable. I thought it was normal, that this was just the way life went. All my mistakes lingered and pressed in on me, condemning me. There were sins I felt horrible about and other sins that I was proud of. They separated me from God, and in the few times I spoke with Him they clouded my view. Like David, the author of this Psalm, my bones wasted away.
I would have flashes of guilt and shame as I sat at my dinner table or desk, and fear as I lay in bed at night. My relationships were corrupted and my choices were guided by the thought that it was all about my comfort, pleasure, and rights, though all my choices led me in the opposite direction. On the surface, I was just a woman who had been dealt some tough blows and wasn’t perfect, but under the surface, I was a creation at odds with my Creator, living for myself and doing an awful job of it. I served Satan and did what he suggested, and my just reward was misery, anger, shame, and the pit.
When God brought me back to Him 8 years ago, I was immediately forgiven. Forgiven in that nuanced and complicated way where Jesus’s blood washed me completely clean but I still wanted to keep some sin. I didn’t want to change some of the things that He was showing me were sins. I made excuses for them and tried to cover them up. And like with David, I felt the heavy hand of God on me. It was exhausting to try to hold the conviction of the Holy Spirit at bay. God keeps working on me though and I keep releasing things to Him.
The good news of the Good News is that we just have to keep saying yes to God. He initiates every step and brings things to the surface at the right time. He has the timetable, doles out the Fruit of the Spirit, and is completely in charge of our training and sanctification. We can trust Him to keep calling us back and cleaning us, all we have to do is repent and rejoice in how good He is.
6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6
I still blow it. New sin crops up and starts to corrupt me. If I don’t take it immediately to God, I am miserable. Why do I choose to live in rebellion? What are the benefits? Why can’t I always see it and lay it at his feet right away when I sin? Shouldn’t it disgust me? On the other side of confession and repentance is true joy. The kind that bubbles up even when circumstances don’t warrant it. There is peace and a return to the things God has for me.
To live forgiven is good. Really good! To have a clean slate with my Savior is so peaceful. There’s no better way to walk through this broken world, through good days and bad, completely washed and renewed. Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered, and whose lives are lived in complete honesty. I can stand in the face of the accuser while he rages and know there is nothing he can pin on me. I can stand before my God and know who I am.
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