5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:5-6
I’m descended from a long line of people who talk to strangers. The waitress, the cashier, other shoppers, or families at the playground. I have friends who shudder when they step onto an elevator with me because they know I will draw the other passengers into a conversation in the few moments we have together.
In truth, I was trained to do this, and my parents were trained as well. My dad told me a story about walking downtown in his hometown with his mother. They passed a gentleman and while she greeted him my dad said nothing. She noticed his failure to acknowledge the man, pulled my dad into a shop entrance, and locked eyes with him saying, “Larry, this is not New York City. We say hello to people here.”
My parents have taken it far past a friendly hello and have seen people well. Once my mother disappeared on a walking trail near my house and hours later I found her in the parking lot having an animated and joyful conversation with a complete stranger. She knew her neighbors at each place she lived and was always kind and excited to see them.
My father, a fan of nametags, uses cashiers’ and waiters’ names, kindly asking how they are and truly listening to the answer. He jokes with people in waiting rooms, stops to talk to neighbors, and learns details about the families in his congregation, and local businesses. There was never a trip to the grocery store when I was a kid that we didn’t get stuck in the freezer section deep in conversation with someone who was thrilled to see him.
Like all things, God uses this family habit of ours to the advantage of His kingdom. Often when in conversation with someone new I will feel pressure from the Holy Spirit to pray for them or to share about how good He is. I’m getting better at obeying these nudges.
Of course, now I’m going to tell you about a time when I completely blew this (though there have been many times) and how God used it to teach me.
This failure involves the dentist. Who likes to take their kids to the dentist? Or better yet a new dentist? I drove 45 minutes to get to the appointment then circled the office park 3 times before I found it. There were tiny parking spaces and a mountain of paperwork waiting for me. The paperwork was disorganized, and the copies were crooked. The waiting room was packed with close rows of chairs, and I had to slide past adults and step over children playing on the floor to find somewhere to sit. As I was filling out paperwork my kids were called back, and I was informed that parents were NOT welcome during cleanings. When I tried to disagree, they pointed at the sign and told me that was their policy.
Are you on my side yet?
The final straw was the last form in the packet of paperwork. It said, “I have read and understand the privacy policy,” and it had a place for my signature and the date. Yet there was no privacy policy for me to read or understand. I decided to take my stand against this injustice and went to the front desk.
“Can I please see the privacy policy?” I asked none too politely.
“What?” answered the confused receptionist.
“This form asks if I have read the privacy policy and I have not so I would like to before I sign this,” said the good Christian woman who refused to lie on a form, even at the dentist. Sigh.
“Let me look.” Five minutes later she returned without the privacy policy. “I’m sorry, I can’t find a copy. It’s just like any other privacy policy at a dentist’s office so you can just sign the form.’
“No, I won’t. Would you please find someone who can show me the privacy policy?”
I can assure you that the word please was lost under a mountain of hostility and was not mistaken for manners. I got the form eventually after multiple women had to stop their filing, phone answering, and typing to get it for me. My hollow victory won, I signed the form, was rude to the dentist when he returned my children to me (because I thought he was rude), and impatiently scheduled their next cleaning, vowing to find a different dentist before then.
But of course, I forgot all about it, and six months later got the reminder for their next cleaning. I woke up the morning of the appointment in a cold sweat. I was no longer annoyed with the dentist’s office, I was embarrassed. (This is called conviction, praise God.) I had acted like a privileged monster, all too aware of how I should be treated, and sure I was the most important person in the room.
Hopefully, they wouldn’t remember me because I knew that my behavior invalidated me from sharing the gospel with them or praying with them. If I had mentioned that I was a Christian at that first appointment one of two things could have happened. They would have either not believed that I was a Christian or even worse they could have transferred my nasty attitude to the person of Jesus.
Whether or not they already knew Jesus they would have been displeased that this was the kind of person He spent time with. “Do something about her, Jesus!” Jesus has had to stand up to a lot of criticism, but I don’t want to be the reason. The truth is that every interaction I have with the world is important and I must put God first and obey His commands on how to treat people and what to do with my time and energy.
5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:5-6
Our culture tells us that life is all about us. It’s about how we feel, how people treat us, our success, our name, and our comfort, but that’s not true. It’s all about God. He’s the main character, and He needs a say in every one of our interactions. My day wasn’t about going to the dentist or homeschooling the kids and it certainly wasn’t about my comfort. It was about fighting for the Kingdom of God. A very real kingdom, and a very real fight.
But this time as I drove to the dentist I was focused on Him. I praised Him with singing on the way and had been in the Bible and prayed earlier in the day. I was so filled up with the Holy Spirit that I remember my face hurting from smiling so much. I sat in the waiting room with God and was full to the brim.
I found out that there were so many chairs and children on the floor because this was the only dentist in town who accepted Medicaid and that many foster children and single-parent households came there. They didn’t turn people away for financial reasons so the women at the desk had to work harder because there was less money to hire other workers. They dealt with some tough situations with broken families and hurting kids so they had developed the “no parents in the back during cleanings” policy.
Luckily, they didn’t remember my attitude from the last visit (or they were very forgiving), and the ladies at the front desk allowed me to pray for them on the way out. I could feel very real love and gratitude for the blessing they were in my life and in many others’ lives. One of the women was desperate for a touch from God and was so grateful for that moment we spent with Him.
I’m grateful God gave me another chance to show His love to this dentist’s office. I’m so glad He convicted me of my sin and gave me what I needed to do better. He opened my eyes and took me out of the place of honor I had tried to steal. Humility is far easier when you know your role. He didn’t make my family and me outgoing for the sake of fun. He taught us a skill that we could use for Him. We can use everything for Him! Our property, our time, our hands, and our feet.
My prayer is that you and I will remember Who we are representing. Stay salty! Shine bright!
13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:13-16
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