Happy Advent season! We are most of the way through the first week and are moving on to the next on Sunday. Have you had a chance to thank Jesus that He came as a baby to set us free and that He is coming back as the King to finish it all? He’s so good! He is Emmanuel: God with us.
“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” – Luke 2:14
When I sat down to write about peace, I didn’t have a good idea of what I wanted to say this time. I have talked about peace many times. I have talked about how God has freed me from so much fear and anxiety and about how He has trained me to care for my home and mind. I have quoted scripture to build my case and told stories about walking around my house and meditating on scripture.
There were some terms rolling around in my mind earlier this week: counterfeit peace, false peace, pretend peace. I don’t know if I heard it somewhere or if it was prompted by the Holy Spirit, but an idea came with it. There is a kind of silence that comes from avoidance that might feel like peace but is not. Fool’s peace, like fool’s gold shimmers and causes some relief and congratulations but has the power to do nothing. It is worth nothing.
I have heard sermons on this before. If there is something that caused you fear and you don’t fear it anymore because you are avoiding it then you aren’t really free. If you used to fear driving on the interstate but now don’t, why not? Is it because you asked God for help and got in that slow lane and prayed and did your best and God chased the fear away? Or is it because you drive the long way around and pretend the interstate doesn’t exist?
Let’s say you have a fear of being hurt so you make sure that you never allow any intimacy. Maybe you got a stack of papers from the IRS and it scared you so badly that you put it in a drawer, or better yet locked the drawer after it was there. If those things are making you feel better, then it’s a false peace. Tell me I’m not alone here, we have all swept something under the rug at some point only to have things get worse even when we felt safe.
Our faithful God was faithful yet again yesterday when He revealed to me something I had counterfeit peace about. There is someone who I know has an issue with me and since they never wanted to address it neither did I. I let time slip by without a word. Truly! Not a single word. The actions they took because of the issue they had with me hurt and I said nothing.
And I felt peace about it. Ridiculous! Peace? I don’t think so.
I just pretended like nothing happened and thought it was better that we didn’t communicate anymore. I told myself that we don’t even live in the same state anymore, so who cares! I told myself that they had really hurt me and refused to address it with me so why should I address it with them? I told myself lots of silly things and just let it lay there broken, this connection within the body of Christ. I told Jesus with my actions: It’s okay if I allow a wound in your body to fester and further decay.
Praise God that He uncovered my blind eyes and showed me that I had a silence that felt like peace, a self-protection that felt like a nice warm blanket. Silence and self-protection were never His plan for me. If there is a tough relationship in my life I need to be brave and sacrifice my comfort to partner with God towards the goal of real and whole relationships. Not all relationships can be repaired and restored but they can be real and honoring.
I am not talking about abuse, of course. God loves to expose abuse to protect the abused and the abuser. He loves to shelter and protect those that are abused and work on repentance with the abuser. If there is something you aren’t sure about and cant tell if it’s abuse or just hard relationship, please seek God and safe counsel for wisdom!
So, I reached out, but first… I threw a fit, then I prayed, then I worshiped, then I avoided, then I threw another fit. “What God?! What would I even say??” God was clear to wait quite a few hours before I reached out. During that time, He worked on my heart and my understanding. He made me willing and told me to just say whatever I needed to say but to honor. So, that’s what I did.
Oh, did I mention the insane spiritual attacks during the process? Apparently, the enemy is so threatened that I would work on any issues in the body of Christ that He threw it all at me. Panic, confusion, fear, forgetting the name, looking at the name and not being sure if it was the right person. The list goes on. Some of what I felt was definitely the anxiety I had been avoiding. Remember, I had fool’s peace not real peace about it all. It was festering under the surface.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. – 1 Cor 13:6
God loves to expose things. He is pure light! I don’t know what will happen with this particular relationship, but I will obey God. They are worth it to me and am praying for them in the process. I believe they are doing the same. It’s awkward and hard for both of us but the bride of Christ is one single body. There is no split or break between believers that should be ignored. Silence is not peace.
This is what I am learning.
Your turn. Misery loves company, or more accurately victory loves company. Ha! This beautiful, awkward, painful, peaceful, communion with Christ and His church will give us reason to rush to the alter again and again. Whoever loves the best, wins!
Is there someone that comes to mind in the body of Christ that you are struggling with? The name may make you break out in a sweat, but that’s only because your body knows better than you that there is an issue. There is a real peace that comes with healthy and loving confrontation.
Maybe it’s an apology or an explanation. Maybe it’s forgiveness. “Hey it’s me. I love you and miss you.” Maybe it’s time to tell someone that what they did hurt you. That’s okay. The Bible says that we are supposed to do that. Maybe they are doing something to hurt themselves and it needs to be said out loud. Let’s bear their burdens with them in whatever way they allow us to do that.
Let’s pray before we do anything! We need the Holy Spirit’s help even seeing the situation and person correctly. Let’s ask for wisdom, and favor with that person. We ask God for a miracle. We move and speak in a humble manner. We tell the truth and don’t sugar coat it or avoid.
We don’t restore unhealthy relationships to a vulnerable place without both sides being involved in the work. Unhealthy relationships are just as damaging as broken relationships. We may not be heading where everyone wants but God is the ultimate decider and judge, so we just need to please Him here, not anyone else.
God want real peace for us. The peace that passes all understanding. The peace that comes with obedience and submission. The peace that comes from right standing with God and other Christians. The peace that comes with facing our fear of driving on the highway and tackling the paperwork hiding in our desk drawer behind lock and key.
If we do this right, then on Christmas morning we will wake up and celebrate the Prince of Peace, not as a people with a theory of peace, but with real peace within the body of Christ.
Let me say it again… and make it bigger…
If we do this right, then on Christmas morning we will wake up and celebrate the Prince of Peace, not as a people with a theory of peace, but with real peace within the body of Christ.
I am praying for you. We’ve got this! Thank you, Jesus!
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. – Romans 12:18
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