When I Don’t Like My Blessings

It’s my week off! Enjoy this post from last November!

We visited New York a couple of weeks ago. I had never been to Liberty Island, which is where the Statue of Liberty stands, so we decided to drive up and catch the ferry on the New Jersey side before we drove into the city for the weekend. It was raining and chilly and after a 5-hour drive that started early, we were all a little crabby. The baby had skipped her nap, and she was winning the crabby contest.

We were thrilled to get out and stretch our legs, but we were early and needed to burn some time, so we walked around and snapped some pictures with the island and the city in the background. By now the baby was really done and so were her parents. I am pleased to report that the teenagers were in great moods and kind to everyone but were probably ready to get a little distance from the rest of us.

By the time we got onto the ferry the baby was done. The stroller was her prison, and the engines were too loud. The water splashed in her face and the wind was blowing relentlessly. We went inside to sit down, and the crying continued. We took her out of the stroller, and she fought to get out of our arms. We put her back in the stroller and she screamed. Then out of nowhere, a gift from God appeared. One of the men who worked on the ferry walked up and started a conversation with her.

He was a dad of 3 and knew a miserable baby and family when he saw one. He talked to her, consoled her, asked her questions, and even did a little dance to make her laugh. He played peekaboo and entertained us with some facts about Lady Liberty. He was amazing and I was so grateful that he had walked over. And that’s when I saw it. The pentagram necklace.

While I can’t be certain what he believes or what the necklace symbolizes to him I can make the general assumption that we do not worship the same god. He most likely spends time with my enemy (and his) whether he knows it or not. It made me wonder what else was on the ferry with us. My mind jumped quickly around to evangelism, praying against whatever was following him, protecting my children, and gratitude for this kind man whom God had created.

This was not how I wanted God to bless us that day. I wanted the baby to just fall asleep in her stroller, the rain and wind to stop, and the clouds to part to reveal a sunny 72-degree day. I wanted a sweet older Christian lady to walk by with her “I love Jesus” t-shirt and organic snacks and be the one to charm my toddler. If I had been in charge that day, I would have lived a cookie cutter safe little life where everything went perfectly, babies didn’t cry, everyone followed Jesus, looked the same, interacted the same, and there were no inconveniences. I would at least have made the Christians in the scene look like the ones who had it all together and got to bless the people who still needed Christ.

Yuck. It’s a good thing I’m not in charge.

I settled on gratitude. Gratitude to God, to this man, and to the circumstance that God had allowed. I could silently pray for him, be kind to him, and show interest in him and his family. No surprise, we saw him on the way back. My sweet baby remembered him and was excited to see him and so was I. More time to get to know him and quietly pray that God would draw him near. More smiles from my daughter and facts about the island.

I didn’t evangelize or even let him know we were Christians; I just tried my best to listen to the Holy Spirit and enjoy our time. It was the only time in those 2 hours that the baby didn’t cry.

God kept blessing us that day through our bad moods. No matter how many times I prayed that day God didn’t give us relief from our attitudes and exhaustion, He just kept opening my eyes to His movements. A short nap on the next leg of the drive, extra water and breakfast tickets at the hotel, more kind strangers who winked and caught an irritated baby’s eye, and a talented, punctual, and patient repairman to help us when the bathtub wouldn’t hold water for the baby’s bath.

God didn’t comfort us the way I wanted Him to, He did something much better. He showed how very in control He is and reminded us that our lives aren’t supposed to be easy, and we aren’t supposed to be the ones who have it all together. He showed us that He can bless us however He pleases and that His mercies are new every morning. He reminded me of the value of everyone and everything He created.

He reminded me that no matter who we serve or who we worship He holds all the resources and that He is happy to spend them on whoever He pleases. No matter what my mood is or what is happening around me, I am surrounded by people that He made, and loves, and the spiritual battle wages on.

Enjoy this song! It is well

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